I am an occupational therapist with years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers. I have seen and continue to see a decline in children’s social, emotional, and academic functioning, as well as a sharp increase in learning disabilities and other diagnoses.
As we know, the brain is malleable. Through environ- ment, we can make the brain “stronger” or make it “weaker.” I truly believe that, despite all our greatest intentions, we unfor- tunately remold our children’s brains in the wrong direction. Here is why:
KIDS GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT IT.
“I am Hungry!” “In a sec I will stop at the drive thru.” “Here is a vending machine.” “I am bored!” “Use my phone!”The ability to delay gratification is one of the key factors for future success. We have the best intentions – to make our child happy – but unfortunately, we make them happy at the moment but miserable in the long term. To be able to delay gratification means to be able to function under stress. Our children are gradually becoming less equipped to deal with even minor stressors, which eventually become huge obstacles to their suc- cess in life.
The inability to delay gratification is often seen in class- rooms, malls, restaurants, and toy stores. The moment the child hears “No”, they react with belligerence because parents have taught the child’s brain to get what it wants right away.
LIMITED SOCIAL INTERACTION
We are all busy, so we give our children digital gadgets and make them “busy” too. Kids used to play outside, where, in unstructured natural environments, they learned and practiced their social skills.
Unfortunately, technology replaced the outdoor time. Also, technology made the parents less available to socially interact with their child. The babysitting gadget is not equipped to help kids develop social skills. This is the priority.
The brain is just like a muscle that is trainable and retraina- ble. If you want your child to be able to bike, you teach biking skills. If you want your child to be able to wait, you need to teach patience. If you want your child to be able to socialize, you need to teach social skills. The same applies to all other skills. There is no difference.
ENDLESS FUN.
We have created an artificial fun world for our children. There are no dull moments. The moment it becomes quiet, we run to entertain them again, because otherwise, we feel that we are not doing our parenting duty.
We live in two separate worlds. They have their “fun”world and we have our “work” world. Why aren’t children helping us in the kitchen or with laundry? Why don’t they tidy up their toys? This is basic monotonous work that trains the brain to be workable and function under “boredom,” which is the same “muscle” that is required to be eventually teachable at school.
When they attend school and it is time for handwriting their answer is, “I can’t. It is too hard. Too boring.” Why? Because the workable “muscle” is not getting trained through endless fun. It gets trained through work.
KIDS AND TECHNOLOGY
Using technology as a free babysitting service is, in fact, not free at all. The payment is waiting for you just around the cor- ner. We pay with our kids’ nervous systems; with their [lack of] attention; with their [in]ability for delayed gratification.
Compared to virtual reality, everyday life is boring. When kids come to the classroom, they are exposed to human voices and adequate visual stimulation as opposed to being bombarded with graphic explosions and special effects that they are accus- tomed to seeing on the screens.
After hours of virtual reality, processing information in a classroom becomes increasingly challenging for our kids. Their brains are getting used to high levels of stimulation that video games provide. The inability to process lower levels of stimula- tion leaves kids vulnerable to academic challenges. Technology also disconnects us emotionally from our children and our fami- lies.
Parental emotional availability is the main nutrient for the child’s brain. Unfortunately, we are gradually depriving our children of that nutrient.
Here is the URL of a video of 36 seconds regarding the ef- fect of screen time on the brains of children: https:// deeprootsathome.com/kids-friendless-bored-impatient/
Editor’s Note: I might add that parents who are always on their phones, iPads, and laptops set a poor example for their children and cause a disconnect from them. Children need our time and our attention. I have sat in restaurants and noticed sit- ting near me what seemed like a parent and a child. Both parent and child are on electronics, paying no attention to each other. It is inconsiderate to sit with others and be on one’s phone or other electronics, ignoring the company, rather than interacting with those present. It is like saying: I don’t really care to inter- act with you; I would rather be somewhere else. Parents need to set the right example.